Let’s see if I can find that poll

•May 20, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Let’s see where I can find that poll. You know, WordPress used to be hard to use, but I like it now.

 

Wow, and to think I’ve been using Blogger and Yahoo Web Hosting. WordPress and Weebly are so much nicer.

Subprime Lending Crises Cartoon – First of a Series – “Loan Origination”

•June 20, 2009 • Leave a Comment

buying 5

buying 5

buying 5

buying 5

buying 5

buying 5

buying 5

Would bet your retirement that Cletus and Jolene will make good on their new mortgage? Coming soon: maybe you already did.

•June 17, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Due to the great scarcity of weight loss articles on the Internet, here is my offering. (Sarcasm is fat free so enjoy.)

Seriously, this article tries to tie it together all the ducks you need to have in a row in order to achieve weight loss. I’ll warn you straight-up: this article has two major problems 1) it’s a work in progress and pretty rough; 2) It tells the truth. Here’s an ugly example: if you’re fat and over age 35 you pretty much have to exercise 6 hours per week if you want to get your weight down to ideal. You read that right. One hour a day, 6 days a week and that’s a minimum. It’s also one bleak, ugly truth that might end up easier to achieve than you think, but let’s save that for later as we revisit the issue of WTF one hour per day is she yanking my chain or what ??!1? Stop reading now unless you be made of stuff sterner than steel. Yet if you are woman/ man (shall we say adult?) enough to face the desolate realities, then read on, and all obstacles shall fall before you.

Here’s the reason for the hour of exercise: it’s all about survival. Your body is designed to survive. Specifically, to survive as a hunter/gatherer on the plains of Africa. You exercise, the body thinks it’s springtime on the Savannah and tries to keep you lean & strong, so you can gather plants and run after/from wild game and survive. If you don’t exercise, your body thinks it’s famine time and (1) gives you the munchies so you’ll be motivated to scrounge food; (2) makes you a little depressed so you don’t go wasting energy; and, (3) packs on every bit fat it can because famine isn’t just a one day thing and your body (bless its heart) is doing that grasshopper/ant thing and planning for a long winter. In other words, when you don’t exercise your body tries to keep you fat and depressed. So you can survive.

 

Why one hour? Well imagine you had to catch and/or scavenge all your meals. Do you think that might take you an hour? Well, I think it would take longer so do your hour six days a week and be happy it isn’t longer or I’ll remember that if you eat seven days a week you ought to be exercising seven days a week too. But seriously, an hour is easy. Get a reclining exercise bike and read on knit or watch TV or some combination. Another cool exercise is Dance Dance Revolution II on the Wii. An hour will go by before you know it.

Riddle: When is an hour not an hour?When you exercise. Reason, you have more energy so you’ll sleep/ lollygag in bed/ slob around one hour less per day. Net result: it actually takes NO TIME to exercise one hour per day.

 
Now that we’ve covered exercise, allow me to ruin you life in the area of food. You know the lions and apes you see in Africa, harvesting grain, enjoying baked goods and getting fat? Yeah, neither do I. Animals don’t eat white sugar, bread, pasta, donuts and all those carby goodies and humans aren’t meant to either. To get un-fat you need to eat a species-appropriate diet. Yeah, yeah we all know people who can eat are that junk food and never gain a pound, but you aren’t one of them, are you? Such people are technically known as freaks and they serve the important evolutionary purpose of encouraging migration away from their smug selves. We shall do the next best thing and ignore them. We must the eat human food we were designed to eat. Human food is food that existed 10,000 years ago. Meat, veggies, non-sweet fruit, yes. Flour, sugar, fruit cultivated for sweetness (i.e. most fruit except berries), no. Grilled meat, yes. Fried stuff, no. Beer, wine and spirits, strangely, yes. Diet sodas, no.

Most Americans don’t limit themselves to human food. We eat carbs that spike our blood sugar, which spikes our insulin, which puts our bodies in fat-accumulation mode. We also eat Frankenfoods that don’t exist in nature, such as high-fructose corn syrup and artificial sweeteners. Our bodies don’t recognize that stuff as food. Our bodies take it in and say, “WTF is this? Is she eating rocks again? Oh boy, it must be famine time. Let’s trot out the old fat depressed/routine. And as for this de-oxy-methy-whatsit she just ate, I don’t know what to do with it…. Oh, wait! I’ll pack it on as fat.”

And thus has our generously-proportioned collective buttocks become a source of simple amusement for people around the world.
 

There are three types of nutrients: fat, protein and carbohydrate. You’ve heard of essential fatly acids and essential amino acids. They are essential fats and proteins. You need them to survive. There are no essential carbohydrates. They are not needed for survival. Glucose is needed for survival but the body can create glucose from protein.fun facts about insulin, glucose and fat. 

  

Personally, I’d like to have a little chat with my body about the modern facts of life and then treat it to a rum raisin pizza with a side of delicious chemicals which it would obediently convert into silken hair and a catwoman physique, but my body doesn’t listen. Did you know humans branched off from other apes 4 million years ago? Our bodies refuse to go against 4 million+ years of tradition. Any day now a benevolent pharmaceutical company will invent a pill to sort this all out and let me maintain a Wonder Woman figure on the bonbons-in-bed-lifestyle I so deserve. But in the meantime all we’ve got is this species-appropriate exercise and diet Malarkey.

More bad news, but this’ll be nothing now that I’ve softened you up. You need to get a blood glucose meter and test strips. At least I can tell you how to get a free one shipped to you. Lifescan 888 887 6303. It’s top ranked by Consumer Reports, but the strips are expensive. For cheap strips, I think the best meter Walmart’s $9 house brand.

Well, here’s where my jaunty narrative ends and the Infodump begins. It’s good info. If you like it, check back occasionally; I’ll be adding links, details, etc.
 
1)    Goals
a)    83 fasting blood glucose waking glucose readings over 83 are associated with higher all-cause mortality rates
b)    Glucose under 95 at all times
c)     Youthful body composition (ie. not fat)
2)    Hormones
a)    Remember back in your youth when the Tooth Fairy disappeared to be replaced by the Pimple Fairy? Well, raging hormones are back again, only fatter. I wanted to separate them info good hormones and bad ones, like Transformers and Deceptions, but I can’t. Our hormonal cast of characters are complex, more like X-Men or the Hellboy crew, each has the potential for good and evil. We must have balance. Yore probably want to have your thyroid and sex hormones checked. Here’s some info, but you need a doctor’s guidance. Get a doctor’s help
b)    Info:
i)       These stimulate fat accumulation
(1)  cortisol
(2)  insulin
ii)     Anti-fat
(1)  Growth hormone
(2)  Estrogen (except if you’re fat it’s probably too high already)
(3)  Testosterone
(4)  thyroid (ironically, a calorie diet can cause a deficiency)
c)     Practices

i)       Meditation to lower stress & cortisol

3)    Improve insulin/glucose levels

a)    Reduce carbs intake limit oneself to 6 grams on carbs at breakfast, 12 at lunch and dinner

i)       Precose

ii)     white kidney bean extract 1000 mg before each meal

iii)    Fiber dissolved in water every meal especially beta glucans

iv)   take a metformin with each meal

v)     Test glucose before and then one hour and two hours after each meal. Ideally, there should be no rise in glucose with your meal. (Once you have a list of meals you know are good for you, you won’t have to test so much.) If your glucose rises, use exercise to bring it down. High glucose=high insulin=you’re packing on the pounds.

b)    Restore Insulin Sensitivity

i)       Practices

(1)  Vigorous Exercise

(2)  Calorie Reduction

(a)  under 1500 calories but day, but note that calorie reduction can cause thyroid deficiency which will slow down weight loss

ii)     Supplements

(1)  Magnesium

(2)  Irvingia gabonensis

(3)  Chromium

(4)  Cocoa

(5)  Quercitron

(6)  Resveratrol

(7)  Fish oil

(8)  Alli

(9)  Met-formin

(a)  850 breakfast, lunch

(b)  long-acting at bedtime

4)    exercise

a)    hour minimum 6 days per week

b)    morning is best

i)       burn off overnight glucose rise if you suffer from the Dawn Phenomenon

ii)     You let your body know right away that it’s spring and you don’t have to stuff your face

5)    Fix up brain chemical balance

a)    Low serotonin can cause carb bingeing

i)       Tryptophan might help

ii)     750 mg twice daily on 500 mg before breakfast lunch, dinner

6)    Improve resting metabolic rate

a)    exercise in morning-raises metabolic rate for several hours

b)    increase muscle mass

c)     green tea -6 glasses per day. Decaff probably okay

d)    thermo genesis capsaicin, ginger, fish oil

7)    Restore satiety signaling 

a)    take Irvingia gabonensis, it helps undo leptin resistance

8)    Reduce CRP/inflammation

a)    Alli (Orlistat, Xenical) lowers CRP

b)    Exercise

c)     Avoid foods exposed to high temperatures like potato chips

d)    Omega 3, Vitamin D, Vitamin K, Vitamins C & E together, Resvertrol, Quercetin, cocoa, turmeric

Twitch is famous!

•June 16, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Here’s my cat on icanhascheezburger.com. Click on the pic to visit the funny lolcat site http://www.icanhascheezburger.com

Used car kitteh  is givin dem away
see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Here’s a screen shot showing that Twitch made it to the upcoming page! He’s so proud!!!!

He's giving them away!

He's giving them away!

Nokia selling out Iranian activists – here’s how to write to Nokia and others

•June 16, 2009 • 2 Comments

According to the Washington Times, cell phone makers Nokia and Siemans have been helping the Iranian government spy on pro-democracy and pro-reform activists. Here’s a link to news article. http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2009/apr/13/europe39s-telecoms-aid-with-spy-tech/

Nokia is a Finnish company. Now, no one expects Finnland to do any of the heavy lifting when it comes to advancing the cause of freedom around the world. That’s the job of the U.S. It’s our role to do it imperfectly, being human and all, and the job of Europe to sit around in the peace and safety purchased with American blood and criticize us. And yet, in all candidness, WTF? According to the Times article, people  have been arrested and sent to prison for the crime of working toward freedom thanks to Nokia and Siemens. Siemens is a German company. I’d have thought that if any country in Europe would feel an obligation to act morally in their dealings with other countries it would be modern-day Germany.

Here are some addresses in case you’d like to make your feelings on this matter known.

Finland Consulate , United States
100 East Main Street, Suite 300
PO Box 3729
Norfolk Virginia 23510
Phone:  757-6276286
Fax: 757-6273948
Email: david.host@tparkerhost.com

Embassy of the Federal Republic of Germany
4645 Reservoir Road NW
Washington, DC  20007-1998
Phone (202) 298-4000
contact webpage: http://www.germany.info/Vertretung/usa/en/Kontakt,verteilerId=2022574.html

Nokia Chairman Jorma Ollila
Nokia Americas
6000 Connection Drive
Irving, Texas 75039

Siemens Chairman Gerhard Cromme
c/o Siemens West Coast Office
1700 Technology Drive
San Jose, CA 95110

Hell’s Inferno at Daiso…

•June 14, 2009 • Leave a Comment
mace

mace

….is a toy! Yes, a toy named Hell’s Inferno. The package features a photograph of a boy holding a stick to which is attached a wire to which is attached something that is forming cool light trails against the black background. Behind him we see a terrified girl hiding.

The instructions guide the parents through the pre-fun preparatory process of taking the little cotton thingy at the end of the wire and SETTING IT ON FIRE.  That’s right, SETTING IT ON FIRE!!! (Did I mention I’m a lawyer? This toy … I felt like I was dreaming. And the manufacturer actually NAMED it Hell’s Inferno. Pinch me!)

BTW, the package warns that the little flaming cotton mace is a choking hazard. Nice of the manufacturers to be concerned, but I think they have a bit of a blind spot with regard to one other danger, that danger being that the thing is ON FIRE! あいろに! That spells irony.

Only one Hell’s Inferno toy remained on the shelf. The rest, presumably, are sold out. Not to worry anyone. I should have taken a picture. Now I’ve lost my chance, because I marched that solitary harbinger of destruction right up to the counter, shook it at the deeply giving-a-darn clerk, and told her not to stock the things any more.  Okay, so I can’t go back and get a picture, but I saved a life and thousand of dollars in property damage today! Or at the very least I save some other customer from wasting $1.50. Either way, me good.

Okay, time to get some beauty sleep so I can wake refreshed and ready for another day of serving humanity! Good night everyone.

3. Faber Is Building

•April 25, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Faber was outside, his back to the main house, building a shelter for the visitor’s picnic area. A pleasant covering over the ten or so picnic tables, with Clear plastic inserts to let plenty of light into the airy space. Not a job many men would undertake alone, but Faber was more than capable, especially under the supervision of the many cats Faber sheltered at his sanctuary.

 

The Southern California sky was its usual faded blue and a slight breeze kicked up a little dust as Faber worked. A twitchy Calico cat jumped at a shadow and two tuxedoed males, heedless of their formal attire, started wrestling and chasing each other in the morning sun.

 

Brian came out of the main house carrying a couple mugs and stood watching Faber work for a few minutes.

 

When Faber paused and put his nail gun down, Brian leaned over and put his hand on his shoulder, giving him a mug with the other hand. Faber looked up and smiled.

 

“I saw another one,” Brian said as he sat down on the picnic table. Faber raised an eyebrow and Brian nodded toward the cat batting nails around on a nearby picnic table. “I was sitting on the verandah and saw a tabby come sailing up over the front fence.”

 

Faber took a sip from his mug and Brian continued. “It didn’t faze him a bit. He licked his shoulder for a minute, as if to say, ‘I meant to do that’ and then he made a beeline for one of the food dishes as if he knew it was there all along.”

 

“You have a great way of putting things. That must be the actor in you.” Brian flashed his 100-watt smile. “Is the new cat in isolation?” The sanctuary always quarantined new arrivals and tested them for infectious diseases before letting them roam the sanctuary freely. Cats who tested positive for feline AIDS would always be capable of spreading that disease, so they were grouped in a fenced area away from other animals.

 

“Of course.”  Brian was watching Faber. Brian couldn’t decide whether to be angry at the callousness of the human who dumped the cat, or amused at the cat’s aplomb. He was waiting for Faber’s reaction.

 

Faber took a long sip from his mug. “Is this water with cucumbers?”

 

“And lemon.”

 

“It’s really good.“ Faber put the mug down. “We should set up some sort of opening in the gate so people don’t have to throw. I wouldn’t want someone to throw a kitten like that… Like a mail slot, the large kind, large enough for small parcels.”

 

Brian nearly laughed. Typical Faber. It didn’t even occur to him to waste energy on the faceless clod who dumped the cat. He also liked the way Faber said “we.”

 

“I’m going into town today.” The nearest home center was twenty miles from the sanctuary. “Want me to pick up a mail slot for the front gate?”

 

“You’re awesome. Thanks.”